My New Year's Resolution

This coming year is going to be dedicated to satisfying my readership (all five of you). I promise to pump out an article once a fortnight on average. Some times of the year provide a voluptuous abundance ideas and inspiration, whereas other times are tight and lean, so my dissemination will be spurted unevenly over the next twelve months. The conception of ideas is not always possible, as some occasions are marred by dryness. This can be particularly frustrating, given that the process of writing is always hard. During the course of the year, you can watch the action unfold, and, as the year ends, you can decide if my performance was adequate. I'm accustomed to hearing moans and sighs, so I expect that when Christmas 2012 comes, I'll be under a punitive lash, begging for mercy. When you inevitably dole out the punishment, please don't use that whip. Oh, God, no! Not that one. No, surely not. I can't believe you're going to do that. Oh, I'd hate that one. Don’t whip me there, like that. I bet it would hurt so bad. Oh, no...