Tuesday 23 April 2013

Let's Be Having Ye.

I have received some nasty messages over the past couple of weeks, after I posted what must have been a wake up call for many of you. Like the light of day on the eyes of those who have long lived in the dark, the truth stings. Many of you followed the well-trodden, predictable road of making things personal, slinging insults about my love life and my taste in music. As I am a font of such ferocious sexual power, taking any notice of disparaging comments regarding my love life would be ridiculous. That would be like a mountain taking offence to comments about its gargantuan size. Regarding musical interests, however, I do take umbrage. Fortunately, my indignation is quickly scuppered by the safe knowledge of the extensiveness of my music collection. The odds are that my knowledge is far greater than yours, and as we know, awareness of the existence of things is the hallmark of a superior mind (ask any hipster). By showing you my music knowledge, I am demonstrating how intimately involved I am with these bands. They give me more than you could ever know and are, effectively, mine.

I like all types of music, and I refuse to bow to social pressure and say that country and western, or any other music genre, is the exception. In order to show how confident I am in my music taste, I have decided to give a random, unedited sample of what is on my music collection. I clicked 'shuffle' on my iPod and the list below is what came up. As you can see, it is a tasteful variegation of talented and inspiring musicians:


1. Hangover rhapsody
The Narcissistic Idlers

2. Consumerist blo
od Anarchic Fist

3. Fish bowl universe (Bratislava remix)
Ecstasy Rainbow

4. [15 minute original guitar solo] – Riff International

5. Friendship never felt this good
Stacey Beduila

6. Forever in your death
The Matrimonial Suicides

7. Siesta Fiesta
Ricci Santiago

8. I shot a cop (and I liked it) – Capital P

9. Je m'appelle le monde
The Sacre Blues

10. Life at the Top
Circumcision Derision

11. Niggardly with the Sambos
Contro-Versey

12. Grabación 17, "Palabras de la pasión"
Get By in Spanish, Oxford University Press

13. Space Terminal Infinity
Cacophonic Ninja

14. Grandiloquent – Autologic

15. Nights of Fire – Jungle Fever

16. Rucksack Angst
The Pedantic Krankenschwesters

17. Fix You
Coldplay

18. Korean Water – Mool Jusayo

19. When the world ends, I will know then that our souls never melded
Catastrophe Salad

20. Lord, I’m so poor
Primordial Banjo

So, there's nothing left to say but shut your mouth and continue listening to whatever over-produced, pap-for-the-masses music-by-numbers you listen to on your all-too-guffawed and advertisement-riddled radio stations, you worthless, over-sensitive, cold dead mass of stultifying, derived horse shit.

2 comments:

  1. I think it's important to point out that 'sambo' means sandwich in Ireland.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're thinking of "sangwitch"

    ReplyDelete