Yet Another Poor Observation

So, Scotland elected to remain in the United Kingdom last week, and it is the opinion of this publication that the People have made the right decision. If you are prepared to look beyond the mists of mere appearance, you will see that Scotland is a fantasy country, and the illusion, as desirable as it may seem, would dissipate in the dawn of independence. My great grandparents were Scots, and like many of past generations they held the sincere belief that the Kingdom of Scotland once resided among the family of nations. But like all legends, from Saint Patrick to King Arthur, it is viewed with a sober skepticism these days. As I have said before, it is humane to allow people some play and escapism, but there comes a time when we must put away our toys and face the world as adults. I would love to ride a unicorn across a land where men can wear skirts freely, partaking in centuries-long duels for the prize of immortality, but the sting of the thistle and the pungent taste sheep innards awakens me from my contented dream. Such things are permissible, but only under the safe guidance of Westminster. I believe it is this wisdom that swayed the vote in the right direction; it certainly had nothing to do with the 'no' campaign. Their recklessness and lack of professionalism could have had catastrophic consequences. They couldn't even campaign in the right country most of the time. An independent Scotland would have been tragic, but its advent would have encouraged others to go solo, and the Scots would have regretted everything in the wake of an independent Wales. Fantasies are contagious, and it may have led to a nation of Lord of the Rings cosplay enthusiasts emerging to the west of England.

Bagpipers growing in the wilderness, yet another Scottish myth.

Perhaps the greatest danger in this whole ordeal is that democracy can achieve anything. A dark whisper could be heard on the corners of the 'yes' campaign, rumouring dangerous notions of social equity. An independent Scotland would supposedly distribute the wealth of their oil, creating a society markedly different to that of David Cameron's vision. "Surely," I thought to myself upon hearing such rumours, "Alex Salmond isn't that stupid." Wild, bleating radicals who blabber out ideas large reforms, about liveable wages, universal healthcare and education, and investment in infrastructure, are only drawing attention to their ignorance of economics. The truth of the matter is that poor people almost never become super rich and successful. You are blind if you think otherwise. In fact, poverty is more likely to lead you to a life of crime or, at best, grinding it out for a subsistence wage.

What is the key to success then? Some of us unique individuals have cracked the code, and we scoff at those who think it's something complex. It's simple: all you have to do is be born into wealth. Yes, reader, it is that easy. Those of us who are really well-off, us elites of mind and means, have the courage and the wisdom to have been born into wealth. We use our massive means and educational opportunities to perpetuate our wealth, assuming we don't increase it dramatically. The middle classes have some vague notion of how it works, as evidenced by their being born into moderate means. The working classes are completely clueless, and those outside the First World are beyond my comprehension. I don't why anyone would choose subsistence living over excessive affluence, when it is a mere matter of being born into wealth.

To fulfil your dreams you must not delude yourself that putting a piece of paper into a box can shift the wealth of the world in your favour. You need to work hard to have been born into a family of abundant means. If you insist on not taking most straightforward path, you will have to struggle past every social, economic, and psychological obstacle, abandon much of the life you are familiar with in favour of an unknown future, and face the jeering disregard of those in higher echelons. You need to be the most productive person you can be and sacrifice all your free time. You should cast away your vulnerabilities and become machine-like in your pursuit; abandon all your desires except for that to climb into a social status, where you don't know anyone and may not be accepted by many of them. You have to learn to take with humility the jeers that you are lazy, regardless of how industrious you are.

Again, I must stress, that is the hard way, and I would advise you avoid it. Let go of your cynical neurosis for social change and embrace being born into prosperity. You must aim to be born into a higher social status and soar to your destiny on gilded wings!