More Power to You.

So, I was out shovelling the snow on the path outside my garden, when a bottle-blonde quinquagenarian* comes shivering by in the cold. Now, my pro-active, He-Man-like shovelling had kept me warm for the past hour, and the feeling of victory that come from facing the elements was flowing through my veins. (When I eventually get around to founding my own warrior society, we’ll have a specific word for that feeling.) I was prepared for possible condescending comments from passers-by, as doing something good voluntarily is so despicable and demeaning. I was especially concerned by the oncoming X-Factor watching, auld-biddy-before-her-time. Shuffling onward, she made the special effort to utter her thoughts into the frosty air: “A polar bear wouldn’t come out in this feckin’ weather.” I saw her point immediately – it’s not as cold as people are making it out to be. A polar bear would find 0 degrees too balmy. Onward I shovelled into the ice, with the fiery courage of a warrior rekindled in my heart. Who the woman was I do not know, but I’m sure if you spend time on a knife’s edge – where danger meets destiny – you’ll find her soon enough.

* I’ll save you a trip through your dictionary – a ‘quinquagenarian’ is a word that is one hundred times more difficult to pronounce than it is to spell.