Tuesday, 7 December 2010

10 Reasons John Lennon Was Killed

I have always had ambivalent feelings towards John Lennon. Lennon never seemed to be ambivalent towards anything, and it seems to me that that is what his fanboys love the most about him. I find such rancorous certitude unpalatable, as I believe the world to be too vast and plural to be stratified into two simple moral categories. Funny how Lennon (like most moralising people) always found himself to be on the right side of his moral view of the world.

So, as we approach the 30th anniversary of his death, I present multiple reasons why he was killed:

10. Stephen King was in a really bad humour that day.

09. “Number 9. Number 9. Number 9.”

08. McCartney developed ‘yellow fever’.

07. ‘They’ thought he was ‘too radical.’

06. Yoko found out he was shagging his Chinese secretary.

05. Jesus is pettier than you would think.

04. He isn’t bullet-proof.

03. The 1980s weren’t his scene.

02. Mark Chapman preferred the much tamer cynicism of Catcher in the Rye.

01. He had it coming.



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4 comments:

  1. Anonymous16 April 2011 at 15:14

    cunt

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sean4 June 2011 at 14:49

    I hope you know you're a piece of shit. How the fuck could you make a joke (a bad one at that) of someones death, especially John's? He has changed the lives of so many people, and he was a wonderful man. Shame on you for making fun of his death. You're not funny, you're just a piece of shit and a disgrace.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nigel Fairflower17 June 2011 at 17:22

    Ah, now! No.9 and No. 4 were pretty clever, no?

    In any case, wasn't Lennon irreverent towards Jesus, who was also a wonderful man and affected many lives positively? Was he a piece of shit also?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous10 October 2011 at 20:36

    Sean Lennon spotted!

    ReplyDelete

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